Helpful Advice Online

Are you and your spouse having problems in your marriage?  If so, you're obviously not alone.  It's still true that about half of all marriages end in divorce, and of course this doesn't mean that the other half of marriages are happy and healthy!  Some couples are quick to turn to marriage counseling whereas others perhaps are a bit more shy about this option.  While it's commendable to want to try to work on your marriage on your own, and of course sometimes a few simple changes can bring a relationship back from the brink of divorce, there are cases where marriage counseling may be the best option.  How can you tell if this is the best choice for you and if it's really necessary?

For one thing, put out of your mind the thought that marriage counseling means that you've somehow failed yourself or your spouse.  Very often people want to save their marriage but just have no idea where to begin.  Sure, you know that you need to compromise and to talk, but how exactly?  How do you compromise when your ideas are completely opposite of one another?  How do you talk when all you seem to do is argue?  When you go for marriage counseling the counselor can give you practical advice that you can use on an everyday basis.  A counselor can explain how to reach compromises that don't make either person feel cheated or neglected.  They can explain how to talk to one another without arguing.

Another great thing about marriage counseling is that a counselor can often explain a person's point of view to their partner in a way that's more effective than the person themselves.  For example, a wife might say that her husband never remembers important events and dismisses them as being trivial.  A husband doesn't understand the problem - why can't she just remind him that her birthday or their anniversary is coming up?  But when this subject comes up in marriage counseling, the counselor can explain to the husband that his wife probably feels that if those events aren't important then she isn't important.  When you dismiss what's important to a person, you're dismissing the person.  He would be upset if the wife used his tools as paperweights; she would be showing disrespect to his things and therefore disrespect to him.  In the same way, the wife feels disrespected because important events are disrespected.  By having things explained this way in marriage counseling the partners are able to understand each other better and things get explained in ways that they themselves could never have imagined.

If you've tried everything you can think of to salvage your relationship and have gotten nowhere, it's time to consider marriage counseling.  There's no shame in it, any more than in going to see a physical doctor when you have a pain you can't get rid of.  So if you think that you're ready for marriage counseling, you probably are!

---

More Relationships and Dating Advice

by Marjorie Black View Marjorie's Blog

How to stop your divorce in 8 easy steps “If You‘re Reading this, then it‘s  Not too Late to Get Back to those Days and Nights of Pleasure You Thought Were LOST Forever but only if you listen to the ‘Golden Wisdom‘ in this guide.