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Are you experiencing marriage problems? Many people are today; divorce statistics prove that.  Chances are no one gets married thinking that they'll wind up getting divorced, and while it's good to have that option in extreme cases, most couples would like to address and solve their marriage problems rather than dissolve their relationship.  Many however are just unsure of how to go about doing that.  They may even hear some advice and try to apply it but then wonder why things aren't worked out the way they should be.

Sometimes marriage problems are overblown or partners think that they're more difficult to solve than they really are.  Very often they boil down to a few common root causes that just don't get addressed.  These common root causes usually involve selfishness and forgetting that you're no longer single but are half of a couple.  You might immediately realize how selfishness can be considered a common cause of marriage problems; when one person stubbornly insists on their own way all the time, the other person is naturally going to question why they're in that relationship in the first place.  Neither person is more important than the other when it comes to a marriage so of course neither one should think that they need to get their own way all the time.  If both partners would realize this then many marriage problems would be easily solved.  A lack of selfishness means compromises and working together as a team to make both partners happy.

Forgetting that you're no longer single is another common cause of many marriage problems.  Many people think that when they get married they can continue to do what they want without considering how their words and actions affect anyone.  This is fine when you're single and have no one to worry about but yourself, but when you're married your spouse needs to at least be considered.  This doesn't mean you lose all your freedom and need to "check in" with your spouse all the time but some common courtesies between couples can help with many marriage problems.  Taking a partner's viewpoint into consideration and making sure they're "in the loop" about decisions to be made can help to alleviate many marriage problems and make both spouses feel as if they're part of a couple and not just roommates who occasionally see each other now and again. 

If you give some serious consideration to your own marriage problems you might realize that they're really not as difficult to solve as you think they are and may be making things more complicated than they mean to be.  Ask yourself if many of those marriage problems couldn't be solved with some simple changes in your behavior and attitudes and some common courtesies.  Very often the few adjustments you need to make are not as difficult as you think, and of course in the end that healthy and happy marriage is going to be worth every effort!

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by Marjorie Black View Marjorie's Blog

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