Helpful Advice Online

Are you having problems in your marriage?  If so then there's nothing to be ashamed of.  It's still true that about half of all marriages end in divorce, and those that are still together aren't necessarily happy!  While some may immediately see the value of marriage counselors, others tend to shy away from such professionals for a variety of reasons.

It's true that telling all your personal business to a third party might be difficult for many, but there are some things to remember about marriage counselors that might make you realize how helpful they can be.  For one thing, whatever you have to say to them, they've probably already heard many times before.  You may think that you're the only couple on the planet that argue about the kids or budget or that take each other for granted, but to any of the marriage counselors you might choose, they've probably heard stories just like yours time and again.  Think of it like going to the doctor's office - you may be embarrassed by that rash or what you're vomiting up, but they've seen it all hundreds of times before you and probably won't give your illness a second thought.  So it is with marriage counselors - whatever you and your spouse are arguing about or whatever is bothering you both, they've heard it all and seen it all before.  There's no need for embarrassment or shame.

Some are also hesitant about marriage counselors because they wonder what good they might really do.  Very often these counselors help people to express themselves when they don't know how or when communication has broken down between them.  A wife may be upset with a husband for a particular reason and he just doesn't understand why she's so bothered by what he sees as a minor matter.  Usually marriage counselors can help the wife to explain why the matter is important to her and can remind the husband that he doesn't always need to understand why something is important to her in order to respect the matter.  Of course this type of dialogue can work both ways as well, as the counselor helps the husband to open up and encourages the wife to respect his thoughts and feelings as well.  Typically marriage counselors act as this type of go-between for them so that they are just better at expressing themselves and they're both better at understanding one another as well.

If you think your relationship is close to divorce then perhaps you might rethink your stand on marriage counselors.  Trying to fix problems yourself is commendable and can work in some occasions, but at other times it's good to bring in the professionals so to speak.  And marriage counselors are very skilled at saving relationships and probably have done so for some that are in far worse shape than yours.  So set aside your fears and tell yourself that of course your marriage is worth giving them a try!

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by Marjorie Black View Marjorie's Blog

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